For the past 2 years, each year I had myself sleeping in hospital for few nights. I'm not a doctor yet, & I didn't got a chance to do any internship at any hospital. But last year, I got a chance accompanying Aman in Surgical Ward of Faransawi Teaching Hospital, Cairo. And this year, accidentally during Ramadhan Kareem, I got a chance to spend my Ramadhan nights in this beautiful Hospital Putrajaya. Having been sleeping in Medical Ward, Hospital Putrajaya for the past 4 nights brings me back the reminiscence. The memory of an event that gave a new meaning of some parts of my life. That mentally changed some parts of me, and physically gave me a new look. A 3 inches scar + keloid at the back of my head at the area near the base of my skull, on the left side.

For all these years, some people react when they see the scar and directly ask,

well, this is the most common question. Others hesitatedly asked,

and this is more decent. And I am tired of answering the same question over and over again, that I've come up with a list of answer scheme to answer those questions. And I'll answer it according to the asking audience. Quick example, for some people, I tell them the truth. For some others, especially kids, I make some jokes, like,

"Dulu abang masuk gangster jalan chow kit, gaduh punya gaduh, sekali tu kena kapak kat belakang...nasib baik hidup lg, so skarang dah taubat.."

and believe it or not, they just believe it! I act pretty good i guess~

For people who don't know or afraid to ask, It was the 23rd of August 1999 that I was admitted at HUKM for having symptoms of increased intracranial presure. Later on, from a CT Scan they discovered a 'limau-purut' sized mass within my skull, at the left cerebellum. There was no Neurosurgeon a HUKM at that time, and I was referred to HKL or General Hospital(GH), Neurology Department. I was nine at that time, and I remembered the doctor made me walking along a straight line on the floor, which I thought I easily could walk straight, but I just simply couldn't! It makes sense, cerebellum = coordination...

25th of August 1999, Alhamdulillah, the tumor was surgically removed, in an at least 3 hours operation conducted by Datuk Dr. Selvapragasam, the Head of Neurology Department at that time. The mass was promptly diagnosed as Pilocytic Astrocytoma. Few books refer Pilocytic Astrocytoma as a benign tumor, some refer as an excellent prognosis tumor. However, generally, said one of my Pathology lecturer in Cairo University Dr. Faysal,

So, Millions, even trillions of thanks & syukur to Allah for giving the opportunity for me to live & study until now. Eventhough the hole inside my cranial cavity is still there, I should be grateful enough...

When we talk about a mass inside the skull, we are definitely talking about an increased in intracranial cavity which will manifest as Headache, Nausea, Projectile Vomitting, Papilledema, + Lost of Coordination(cerebellum). And the headache was very severe & real! Can't mention it by words, feel it and you know it. What do you think, if a nine year old child, woke up in the morning crying, "my head is killing me! I don't wanna go to school..."?? If I'm the mom, I must be angry. You know, 'Headache' is a common 'excuse' for a child to 'ponteng sekolah'. And so did my mom. I was yelled almost every day for that same boring excuse... :) I was also continuously vomitting to the extent that there is nothing left to be expelled. I mean, literally continuous!

However, being sick is not totally a bad thing...

I'll say, the food, fruits & presents. Many people came to visit me & my mom, and each one of them brought something. Chocolates, sweets, comics and stuffs... that was nice~

Anyhow, Alhamdulillah, I am ok now. Please take care of our health and pray to Allah that He don't burden us beyond our capacity. We will some day get sick anyway, either from hypertension, heart attack, mental problems, stress, car accident, anything. But whatever it is, may Allah be with us and may He put the burden as a test to our imaan, and hopefully it is beyond our capacity inshaAllah. One may have got just a primary hypertension, but he is depressed like mad. Another one may have a third stage cancer, and may still survive and live a happy life... It's all about Rezeki Allah, Du'a, and positive thinking.

Please make du'a for my dad's health. Also for my mom so she will always be strong and patient. May Allah bless my family, and may He also bless you all with His Barakah, Rahmah, & Maghfirah especially in this last part of Ramadhan...

Wassalam~ out to hospital...